Semper Fi to my Marine

Happy Endings :)

2012-01-24T23:07:00.000-08:00

I wanted to tell everyone a story. A lot of you have been reading this for the past three years as I've gone through relationships, break ups, etc. I wanted to share something pretty special with all of you who think that these military relationships are destined to fail. I think this is one of those moments that you only hear about once and a while but it helps to see it happen to give you insight into your own relationships.

I met my best friend a few years back in high school. He and I talked a few times, we connected to each other when talking about the Marines. We were sitting in his girlfriend's car as she drove us home, I was the little freshman and he was the big bad senior. But he didn't worry me, we had talked a few times and this time when our eyes met I knew he was going to be some part of my life. He went off to boot camp during the summer and we didn't speak until the following February of 2009. At that point in time we started texting. We became great friends and decided to date after only a few weeks.

Things went great until Easter came around. It was going to be his first time home since we started talking, we made so many plans! I was more excited than I had ever been in a relationship. Our plans got ruined for the first night and the next day he started avoiding me. By Sunday (he was leaving on Monday morning), I told him to meet me because I deserved an explanation. We met in the park, I waited for over two hours for him to show up. Finally, at 9:30 pm he decided to show up. We walked out to the middle of the field and sat down. We talked for a few and I decided to kiss him, that was our first kiss and it was perfect other than the fact we realized we had been sitting/laying looking at the stars in piles of goose poop! That was so much fun. We weren't in an "official" relationship but we had established we had something.

He left on Monday. On Monday afternoon in between classes, I got a text from one of his ex-girlfriends saying she had kissed him. She thought I should know. Well all I knew was that she was trying to get between us, it worked. I texted him, a little hurt and angry. He responded with "we're not actually dating yet". I didn't speak to him the rest of the day, I couldn't believe he even said that to me. He landed back in North Carolina that evening and texted me saying how sorry he was. When he was on the plane he thought about it, that was the first night he told me he wanted to really be with me and try to make it work. Of course, I got my hopes up. Things were okay for a little while until he started telling me I didn't love him, I didn't know what love was, and that I was going to leave just like everyone else. He went through a really bad phase, especially after one of his buddies was killed during a routine training operation. He started taking his anger out on me. He called me one night a little intoxicated, telling me he loved me and he did want to be with me. He said, "If you find the right girl, even if you want to travel alone, she'll change your mind and you'll want her to travel with you. You're that girl." Of course, being young and in love I believed him. The next day he changed his mind. I was so angry with him. Time passed by and I wrote a blog on a former blog I had for him. He read it. This was his response from all that time ago:

"That's beautiful and I'm sorry for putting you through all of this and I can't wait to take another shot at it, when I can give it my all and give you what you deserve, but right now I honestly can't and I'm not willing to half ass this. I want it just as bad as you do and I want it to be your fairy tale I want it to be perfect I want to give you everything you deserve and I can't right now and it does kill me. My mind is stuck in other places and on other people and I'm sorry for not paying enough attention to you, I'm also a master at having poor priorities. overall, I'm an asshole no doubt, and I don't think I'd change it for the world. Not that I want my ass holiness to be directed at you but that's just me. I want us to be happy together and right now it just cant happen as soon as I can I will give this shot two and soon after 3, 4, 5 and as long as it takes... I hope that this helps other people with things so it doesn't end like ours. I will always be a close friend and if anyone needs anything from my side I'm here to help. Cya hun."

I remember reading that and thinking that we would never make it work. A few months later I started dating one of his buddies. That post was in June of 2009 and he didn't find out I was dating his buddy until September of 2009 when his buddy cheated on me one night. My best friend stayed on the phone with me all night, he found out half way through the night but was more focused on making sure I was okay than breaking the news to me. He left that for his buddy. When my ex told me, I was hurt, pretty badly but I decided to forgive him. Which all of you know if you've been around here for a while. Well my best friend almost didn't forgive me for that, he couldn't believe I would forgive someone who hurt me so bad but I wouldn't give him a second chance. That's when we fought, I told him he never asked for one. He said he didn't think he could get one. I was irritated. Well, we go through deployment in October and in December my best friend and I hung out. We had a great time making cookies, homemade macaroni, watching kids movies, and just spending time together. After that, I realized how much we had been through. His buddy dumped me in April after not talking to me for weeks (I've forgiven the guy because we're good friends still). I had met another guy in a car crash in December, he was so wonderful and fun to be around. We started hanging out. I had asked my best friend if he wanted a shot with me again. He kept dancing around the topic, he didn't want to say yes or no. So I decided to give it a shot with this new guy a few months later. It was perfect, we had a great relationship until his friends came into the picture. Now we're not friends because it became a "he said/she said" break up unfortunately. My best friend and I spent time together while my then boyfriend was in boot camp. We did all the normal stuff we did, go for walks, cook, dance, and just had a blast. There were a few good times earlier in the year too (he threw me in the swimming pool and we ended up "beating" each other up) but those had all passed. We fell asleep talking, me on the floor, and him on his bed. We talked about everything that had happened between us and over the past few years. We talked about how we had become best friends. My then boyfriend came back from boot camp, broke up with me. Well my best friend really didn't say anything then, really didn't even talk to me. So I went on with my life. My ex wanted to get back together and after my best friend and I got into a fight, I thought I had blown any chance there so I decided sure why not. Well in case any of you don't know, some history DOES repeat itself and it really did with that relationship.

My best friend left on a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit) last April. Much earlier than we predicted. We spoke once between April and October. Things seemed like they were completely falling apart as far as our friendship went. In October, he emailed me about my birthday. He was so sweet about it too. He called me a little while after that and we talked for a few minutes. Then we didn't speak again for a little bit. He finally sent me an email and I put minutes on his phone card. He called me a few days before Thanksgiving. It was great to talk to him. Then I started to form a relationship with this guy at college. He seemed perfect, he told me he had never been happier in his life than when we were sitting there playing MW3 together or watching movies or talking. He said he loved me all of that. It was over as soon as I went home on Christmas break for two weeks. He abandoned me after two days. I got back and that's when drama broke out. I was having a hard time with that and all of sudden my best friend emailed me out of no where telling me to keep my head up and that he loved me. It helped me to get past that really fast. My best friend and I have always loved each other, it's just been hidden because we've dated other people (more so it was me dating other people, he dated one other person but that lasted a week). Well, he said he'd call soon which I didn't think he would but he did. He called that night and we talked for an hour. Then I hadn't heard from him in about a week, it sucked but I knew he'd call when he could. So two nights ago he calls me and the short version of the conversation:

- He had run all over the ship to find a phone to call me

- He missed me and this deployment had made him realize how I've never left his side

- How much he loves me

- How sorry he is that he ever took a text, a call, or a video chat conversation for granted

- That I mean everything to him

- He was sorry he never paid enough attention to me but that was going to change

- He can't wait to see me on my spring break

Now imagine how in shock I was. This was four years of hardship on my part trying to get him to realize what we had and all of a sudden it hit him. The story of how he figured it out was even better but we won't get into that. Maybe we'll put that story in the book if we write it together. Anyway I'm so excited to try this with him again. We've both changed so much.

Now I wanted to share this with all of you because four years with the Marines now and we're finally getting our footing. It was finally the Marines that showed him how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. It was a military relationship that failed but now it's successful. Why? Persistence, commitment, love, and fidelity to our friendship. Don't give up if it's not working right now because it could work later on. You just have to give it a chance to. Now I have class at 8 am and I am so tired. But I thought I would belt this out before I go to bed because I wanted to share my good news with all of you. I'm so grateful for all of the emails I've been getting with individuals sharing their news with me. So I thought I would share my news with you all. Have a wonderful evening and please don't hesitate to email me!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com
CM©Semperfikindoflove

Military Relationships 101: Fidelity & Divorce

2012-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

Alright there's a topic I want to cover today, I was reading some questions online in regards to relationships and what they were like when it comes to the military. I even had a few questions about fidelity in the Marines, why marriages fail so often, etc. I have a few answers to these questions that I hope will help everyone.

Why do marriages fail in the military? Why are divorce rates high in the military?
- There are a lot of reasons that divorce rates are what they are in the military, there are also a lot of reasons why marriages fail. A lot of men in the military are 18, 19, 20, etc. and their girlfriends are around the same age. Many couples feel that getting married is the right answer because somehow it will help the distance and it will help with fidelity. A lot of couples also think they can handle the stress of long distance when in reality they can't. I'm not saying that every young marriage won't work out because I know A LOT of young military wives and husbands who are happily married and have been for a while. However, those who jump into it after only a few months of dating or because they are scared about an upcoming deployment have a greater chance of not seeing how hard the distance is on their relationships. That eventually leads to divorce. There are very few individuals who can actually handle relationships with military men/women. It's one of the most complicated relationships to hold on to but it's also one of the most rewarding. So if you can make it through deployments and through training, I think marriage may be right for you. But don't just jump into it because you are afraid of losing them.

Why do so many people cheat on their military significant others? Why is infidelity so common in the military?
- The first thing I might ask you is your source of information. A lot of the relationships you hear about with the military include infidelity because those are the relationships that get the attention, those are the relationships that people decide to talk about. Yes, cheating does occur. Does everyone do it? No. I get the question, "how do you stay faithful when in a relationship with a Marine? OR how do you not want to be with someone else, your relationship seems so hard?" Well, when I was dating my exes (including my best friend), I always had to think of a good answer. The one I wanted to answer was "because I love him." But that answer doesn't really help anyone. The reason you stay faithful is because you know that with time the hardships will pass and you two will be together. You understand that he has just as hard of a time being away from you as you do him. You also have to realize that he needs you to support him, not go around chasing other guys while he is away. There is a high percentage of military relationships that go without infidelity or that make it through infidelity. One of my exes cheated on me and we survived for a while after that as a couple because I was able to forgive and be strong. Trust me when I say that a lot of the stories you hear are the negative ones because people like drama, they like a good story. It's just built into the make up of a human being.

I think those are the two topics I will cover tonight. I have some online questions to answer and after that I think I'll work on my book for a little bit before heading to bed. Class in the morning bright and early. It's going to be a long day! Have a fantastic evening folks!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com
CM©Semperfikindoflove

Changes coming :)

2012-01-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

So I just wanted to let everyone know what I'm going to be up to here soon. I've been super busy with my college classes but I'm going to start editing and revising the Marine Corps relationship book I've been working on. I'm hoping to get it published with Amazon as well as a few other websites as electronic books. Sorry for anyone who wanted a hard copy, that's a complicated process and I'm not sure I have the time or money to go through it at this point in my life.

The book itself will cover boot camp, training, deployments, MEUs, tips, what to expect, and how to handle the relationship. It will be covering the Marine Corps directly while touching on some of the other branches with tips. I'll put a link to it once I get it going and all of that. I'm not sure how much it will cost but I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Another thing that will be changing about the blog is that I'm going to allow ads on the page. They will be ads directed towards the military lifestyle. I figured it's an easy way for everyone to be able to access the different resources for buying apparel, getting info, etc. I know my target audience so that's great. I just wanted to let you all know before they randomly start popping up. I know how annoying they can get.

Anyway, email me if you have an questions or you just need to talk. I hope everyone is having a fantastic week.

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Updates!

2012-01-14T11:14:00.000-08:00

Wow so I have a lot to tell all of you. I went home on Christmas break and was so happy with my life. Everything felt like it was finally working out, I had an amazing best friend who is deployed but always there for me, I had this man who made me happier than I had been in a while, and I had so much love and support from my family.

Two days into my time hope, that man who made me happy that had said he wanted to be with me, that he was happier with me than with any girl he had ever dated, stopped talking to me completely. No reason, no explanation. I had bought him some really expensive things for Christmas. He was excited to get them but didn't tell me he had any doubts about us. Now he refuses to talk to me at all. I just want to be friends but he turned into someone I don't even recognize. It's fine because I've accepted that I loved the person he was and not the person he is now.

My best friend in the whole world emailed me this morning. He told me he loved me and he missed me so much. I figured we would get to this point in deployment. He said he'd pay for any ticket I need to be there when he gets back. I've never had anyone really sit there and offer to do anything like that for me. It was amazing to read that and how protective of me he's gotten. He shows me every time I feel like I'm falling apart, that he is there and will always be there. I love that kid more than life itself, he is pretty much the better half of me. Which is what a best friend is supposed to be. I kept looking at the past with us remembering the bad things and now with time I see the good things. Even though he is deployed, I've decided that time has fixed everything with us and I plan on being by him through this deployment, the next one, and how ever many deployments he has to go on.

The Marines, loyal individuals is what I find. All of the men I have gotten to known over the past four or five years have extended kindness, protection, and love my way. I believed at first that Marines were out to hurt me from my past three relationships. But out of those I realized that only one of them ever really hurt me and we didn't recover from it. Here's what you must realize when you start out dating a Marine especially after boot camp, they will go through phases. If they don't have a strong personality to begin with, the Marines can change their personality completely. You just have to learn to love the person they become or you have to learn to move on. I choose the first, because eventually I found the perfect Marine to show me that best friends are always there through everything.

That's my update for today! I wish you all the best of luck!

Semper Fi
semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Your life, your choice

2011-12-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

Alright I just have a thought for today that occurred to me when I was answering a question for someone. They asked if they should listen to their girlfriend or if they should enlist in the Marines like they have always wanted to do. I am warning all who read this that you may not like what I have to say about this but I can explain why I am saying it.

You need to do what you want to do in life. If that's enlisting in the Marines, you shouldn't let your girlfriend stop you. You will always have the Marines if you do it but you may not always have her as a girlfriend. Girlfriends come and go, your career will not. You will always have that base that you form in the Marines, the brotherhood, and the benefits. You are dating this girl, not married to her. If you were married you would need to consider how she felt but if you are dating, you make the choice. You will resent her later on if you regret your choice to stay with her.

Another point I want to cover is the fact that a GOOD girlfriend would support you in WHATEVER you choose to do as long as it is legal and beneficial to you as an individual. A good girlfriend would recognize that this is your choice and not hers, she really has no say in it whatsoever. She would accept that, tell you how she feels, but would stand behind you no matter what you do. If she loved you, that's what she would do.

I've come to realize that if you love someone you want what makes them happy even if that isn't you. Whether you agree with me or not, dating and marriage are different things. While you need to consider both individuals when making a decision the main thing to remember is that you are your own person, you are not bound to the other person's choices forever. You can leave when you want and so can the other person, so you need to do what is best for you and especially while you are young, you need to realize that you only live once. Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do.

I'll be honest, the guy that I am interested in right now (a civilian) is pursuing a career in boxing. That's dangerous, it scares me, he's one of my best friends. He's a really good boxer. I know he will do well but a few hits to the head could really hurt him. That is his choice, I can't tell him not to do that. I can stand behind him and support him, tell him how I feel but in the end this is all up to him. I want him to accomplish all he wants in life. My ex wanted to go into the Marines, I'd been through two bad relationships with the Marines, but I stood behind him. All I know is that to be a good girlfriend you need to be selfless and understanding even when it hurts. You should expect the same from your boyfriend as well.

That's my say for the day, I am sorry if that offends anyone but each person is entitled to their own life.

CM©Semperfikindoflove

I don't know everything...but I do know this.

2011-12-05T12:31:00.001-08:00

I got an interesting email this morning that made me really think about a question I was asked. So I wanted to share with all of you

"If you know so much about all of this, how come your relationships didn't last?"

Oh my goodness, this question took me in circles because I couldn't figure out how to respond to it completely so that someone would understand. But here goes:

I don't claim to know everything about this lifestyle, I know a lot from experience and I know what it takes to make one last. But ultimately, it is up to the two individuals. My three ex-boyfriends who are Marines, we were not compatible in the way that two people should be in a relationship. My first ex needed to grow up and have his freedom, he needed that space when I needed him to be there. It wasn't the USMC that tore us apart so my knowledge didn't apply there, it was a matter of two people expecting two different things out of life. My second ex had a completely different idea of what life looked like for him and what it looked like for me. When he cheated it was his way of lashing out when he was angry, it had nothing to do with the distance honestly. My third ex changed during boot camp and we both became different people. We fought all the time and it was happening even before he went into the military. It was a relationship that was bound to fail but we were both stubborn trying to make it work. I know how to make it last in a military relationship but that is all, I don't know how to make it a permanent fix.

I've learned in the past week that nothing in life is permanent. You can argue saying some people are permanent but what are break-ups, falling outs with friends, divorce, or death? They are things that ruin the image of permanent relationships. You have to first accept failure to be able to understand your part in a relationship. You will never be the perfect girlfriend or wife because EVERYONE has flaws. I have flaws, a lot of them but I think I've found someone who accepts those. Maybe I won't marry a military individual, but I can still give advice on how to hold your relationship together because my ties to the military will never go away.

My final example is this:

If you are a surgeon, you know a lot about the body and about health. You're performing a surgery, there's a complication. Your patient dies, you used all your knowledge about being a surgeon to try to save their life. It doesn't work. Does that mean you're a failure? No. Does that mean that you could have saved their life if you knew more? No. That's to explain my knowledge. I'm the surgeon, my knowledge is military relationships, my patient is the relationship. Can I save them all? No. Can I try? Yes. Will I succeed? Maybe. But in the end my knowledge doesn't fix a condition that already exists. That condition is the personality of the two individuals.

That's my say for the day, I hope you all have a great evening!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Moving on from the Past, Approaching the Future :)

2011-11-25T14:35:00.001-08:00

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life. Sometimes letting go of someone or something in the past is hard, especially when it involves some kind of anger. But letting go of that anger and acknowledging that sometimes love is flawed, you will move on to your next big adventure in life."

So I had one of those "eye-opening" moments this week which is what my quote stems from. I was thinking about my ex and all of the good times we had during our relationship and all of the bad times when it suddenly hit me. For the past few months I had resented him, I had hoped that maybe he would stop treating me like he was, with such anger and hostility. But I realized one big thing, I had let go of the one thing that had kept me resenting him and holding onto to him: ANGER.

I realized that anger was the one thing that kept me so enthralled with him, I wanted an apology or maybe even an explanation as to why he still lets his friends walk all over me, why he never even apologized for the things he had done. Granted, I did some horrible things in our relationship too but I did acknowledge them and apologize. I figured out that I had let go of the anger and moved on while he continues to resent me. He's moved on sure, but he hasn't let go completely. I can be friends with him because I want him to be happy and have the best life possible. I loved him with all of my heart but I realize that we weren't meant to be. We are so different as individuals, we both valued different types of freedom in our personal lives, different levels of trust, and we also valued religion much differently. Those differences helped me see what I want in a relationship and what I never want again. It was an unhealthy relationship and I'm glad he had the guts to end it when I internally kept fighting over and over again to have a long lasting love with him.

What does this have to do with military relationships? Well I want to take a day to talk about unhealthy relationships and the signs that maybe you should get out of the relationship you are in if you fit these signs. So many people think that just because you are in a military relationship, there are certain ways you are supposed to feel even while your loved one is with you but that isn't true.

1) One sign that you may be in an unhealthy relationship is fighting. If you are fighting at least once a day and a lot of time over the same thing. You might need to take a step back and assess the situation. You shouldn't be fighting that much. A relationship is about love and it's about learning to let go of that anger to compromise and create a better future for the both of you.

2) Another sign would be severe mistrust. If you two are always having fights over trust issues and you can't figure out why. Again, take a step back and look at the relationship as a whole. Has your significant other given you a reason to not trust that or have you given them a reason to not trust you? If the answer is no, then you are most likely in some deeper trouble than just a little trust issue.

3) Do you both try to control what the other person tries to do? Do you get mad that she wants to hang with her guy friends? Do you get pissed that he's chilling with some female friends? Do you both try to tell each other what you can and can't do? That's why you set ground rules before the relationship goes past friendship because then you learn what you both expect from each other. That's a good way to start.

4) Do you call each other names? I've been in situations where I have had exes call me names, yell at me, push me, etc. You learn that this are RED FLAGS in any relationship. No man or woman has a right to EVER call you a disrespectful name. I don't care what you did, that's not healthy in any relationship. You don't need to surround yourself with individuals like that.

5) Are you always unhappy? I understand deployments suck but I'm not talking about that kind of unhappy, I'm talking about the kind where you think of them and get sick to your stomach. Negative feelings come up more than positive ones when you are apart or together? If this is happening, chances are you are better off single than you are in a relationship.

Keep your heads up ladies and gents. I wish you the best of luck with your current endeavors whatever they may be. Remember that letting go of the past and the anger is the only way to work towards a positive future. Maybe there is an ex you are holding onto, let them go, there is a reason they didn't make it to your present life or your future. Semper Fi!

CM©Semperfikindoflove

"If they wanted him to have a girlfriend...they would have issued him one..."

2011-11-16T09:17:00.001-08:00

"If the Marines wanted you to have a girlfriend, they would have issued you one."

Okay so there is a topic I really need to address because I'm tired of hearing about it from so many people. It's something that all experienced military wives and girlfriends know but the girlfriends who are new to the military lifestyle don't understand so this will probably be a little hard to hear for the newbies.

HIS JOB COMES FIRST
- I understand that it's hard for some of the new girlfriends to accept but you are not his priority. His job comes first and honestly, a relationship is basically just added stress to our military men if you aren't an understanding girlfriend. If he doesn't put his job first, he could get killed or he could get a ton of other people killed. For all of you experienced girlfriends, you understand this concept because you've dealt with it. During deployment, you are not his priority. His priority is to come home alive and to do his job, ensuring that all of his buddies can come home alive to families and friends.

WHY CAN'T HE TEXT ME DURING THE DAY? IT TAKES TWO SECONDS!
- Do you understand what his day looks like? He goes from workouts in the morning to working all day, training, learning, and improving his skills to do his job better. He is constantly on the go, honestly, texting you should be the last thing on his mind when he's practicing grenade tosses or shooting at targets. Do you want him to learn to do his job the best he can? Do you want him to do his job better so he can make it home to you? Yes, so stop thinking he has that extra second.

HOW DIFFICULT IS THIS LIFESTYLE?
- It's as easy as 123! Not really. You will learn that it never gets easier, you just get stronger and busier to pass the time. You should know that the war is going on, that he will deploy, that he can make it home but only if you let him focus on his job. Don't stress him out with petty fights about how he doesn't have time for you. You can tell the girlfriends who will be the future wives from the "will only be a girlfriend for a little while". It's a very easy difference, the ones who will be wives are strong enough to understand that this is how it is, you learn to cope instead of complain about it.

HE'S DEPLOYED, I'M SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT EVERYTHING
- Take a break from everything, find a release but whatever you do...don't make him your release. He doesn't need that stress while deployed. If you are a wife you know what you should say and what you shouldn't. But for all you new girlfriends, if it doesn't directly have an influence on his life and it's just your rough day. Talk to someone else or suck it up. Basically the overall point, is grow up. Don't worry him with petty drama unless it is actually IMPORTANT.

OPERATION SECURITY (OPSEC)
- I am so tired of having this conversation. Military girlfriends, you are expected to know this. Common sense will tell you that posting dates or months of deployments or returns can be read all over the internet. If you say early next year that's fine, if you say sometime next summer that's fine, but if you post that he's returning in August or he's returning in 12 days or on August 15th at 5:00 pm on this flight, you look like a new girlfriend and you will most likely gain a lot of enemies. If a chain of command gets word of such posts, you will delay homecoming or push deployment dates one way or another. You will piss off a lot of girlfriends and wives.

I'm sorry if this is blunt or harsh but I have been answering so many questions lately about this for girlfriends who have been around the military for 6+ months. Sure you're somewhat new, but not new enough to not know this stuff. It takes a specific kind of girl to be a military girlfriend. If you the military wanted him to have a girlfriend, they would have issued him one. Learn that.

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Courage through Love...

2011-11-15T15:32:00.001-08:00

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

*** Lao Tzu***

So I wanted to help out all the girlfriends and wives today who are struggling through deployment. There is a misconception about deployments that I want to talk about today. That's the fact that some people say it gets easier. You want to know the truth? It never gets easier, you only grow stronger and stop noticing it as much. Time starts to fly by faster because you have found ways to cope with deployment. I have multiple articles about coping with deployment from my deployment back in 2009 and 2010 with my ex. You can read all of the tips that go along with that as well as the songs to listen to and the songs to avoid.

My best advice to you is to remember to breathe, remember that this will pass with time, and that once you get through this together...your relationship will be that much stronger. Take the quote and remember it because through this relationship, you gain courage from the love you two share. Don't forget that because that is what helps you to grow as an individual and as a couple. I'll start posting a quote with each post I write for the next few weeks that I think everyone can relate to. I just wanted to give a shout out to all you military wives and girlfriends. Keep your heads up and stay strong! You can do this!

I have to go to class now, have a fantastic evening.

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Happy Veteran's Day!

2011-11-11T09:07:00.001-08:00

A veteran is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to “The United States of America” for an amount of “up to and including their life."

Yesterday (11/10/11) was the 236th birthday of the United States Marine Corps! It is definitely something to celebrate. Generations of Marines have fought since the USMC began on November 10th, 1775 at the Tun Tavern. Our Marines today are strong, brave, and proud of the country they serve. They are honorable men who love to no end and fight to no end for the ones that they love. I can proudly say that I've been around the Marines for around four years now and I am so impressed with all the things, the men I know, have accomplished. I want to give a shout out to all of the men I know in the military currently and who have EASed from the military for Veteran's Day. It was a big day yesterday, especially on my Facebook. A majority of my friends are Marines or Marine significant others. We were all so happy and proud of the Marine Corps because this has become a way of life for us! So I wanted to say Happy 236th Birthday USMC! First to fight for 236th years, that's something to be proud of!

Veteran's Day is a day to remember all those who have passed, all those who serve, and all of those retired vets. America today doesn't always appreciate the things those vets have done for us. But today is a day to be proud, a day to honor those individuals, and a day to honor the families who have lost loved ones. I want to give a shout out to some of the individuals I have become good friends with in the military!

- Doug (USMC) - Cameron (USMC) - Robert (USMC) - Kyle (USMC) -Derek (USMC)
- Kevin (USMC) - Angel (USMC) - Cameron (USMC) - Bryan (USMC) - Chris (USMC) - Chris (USMC Retired) - Trevor (USMC Retired) - Chris (USMC) - Daniel (USMC) - Mike (USMC)
- David (USMC) - Michael (USMC Retired) - Drew (USMC) - Eric (USMC) - Jenna (USMC)
- Tyler (USMC Retired) - Ken (USMC) - Kris (USMC) - Preston (USMC) - Preston (USMC)
- Mike (USMC Retired) - Michael (USMC) - Mike (USMC) - Patrick (USMC) - Shane (USMC)
- Seth (USMC) - Trey (USMC) - Zach (USMC) - Vish (USMC) - Brett (USMC) - Clay (USMC) - Justin (USMC) - Phillip (USMC) - Colby (Army) - Mitchell (Army) - Aaron (Army) - Cory (National Guard) - Joe (Army Retired) - Jeffery (Army) - Andrew (Navy) - Xavier (Air Force)

I'd also like to honor some of the closest girlfriends, wives, and moms!
- Catherine (USMC Wife) - Kimberly (USMC Wife) - Meagen (USMC Wife) - Meagen (USMC GF) - Shelby (USMC GF) - Corian (Army Wife) - Pam (USMC Mom) - Lori (USMC Mom) - Cheryl (USMC Mom) - Monica (USMC Mom)

This is only a few of the many I know. But thank you all for what you do!

There are three people in particular that I would like to honor.
- Lcpl. Eric Ward.........KIA - February 21, 2010 - Afghanistan
- Lcpl. Adam Peak.......KIA - February 21, 2010 - Afghanistan
- Sharpe........................Killed during training Spring of 2009

If anyone needs anything please email me. Thank you for keeping our troops hearts safe!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

LONG PEP TALK

2011-11-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life gets you down but you have to look at the good things and people you have in your life. You learn something new from every person that crosses your path; the ones that have made you laugh, the one's that have made you smile, and even the ones that have made you cry. They've taught you to loosen up, to enjoy life, and even some of the hardest lessons in life.

I wrote this today, I posted it as my status, and I wanted to share it with all of you. I realize that a lot of you go through hard times with your military men deployed and sometimes we struggle with the sometimes unfortunate part of life called love. There will be people who come into your life and leave a huge footprint on your heart and make a great impact. That's what I want to do with my life, I want to make a difference in others lives. That's really important to me which is why I write here, even when no one reads it. I think one day someone might come along and this might be just what they are looking for to keep their head up for one more day.

There have been a lot of people that have impacted my life.

- I want to say for one that my best friend in the world has left the biggest and sometimes most painful footprint on my heart. He taught me a lot of things in life, I learned more from this silly man than he has learned from me. I've learned to love, to be compassionate, to trust, and to keep doing what I'm doing to help others even when some individuals try to bring me down.

- My ex that I was with for a year and a half, he showed me that relationships don't always work out. That you have to learn to let go of the past before you can move on to the future. A part of me was still hooked on what my best friend and I use to have and it somewhat destroyed the relationship I had with my ex. But he taught me a lot of life lessons, one of the biggest was not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Another is that people change, it's inevitable, you won't know if it's good or bad.

- Lcpl. Eric Ward. He was killed in Afghanistan on February 21st, 2010. I never got to meet the guy and I only talked to him once. But he was so full of life and was one of those individuals whose smile could light up a room. He was 19 when he died and he had so much in his life to look forward to but he chose to make a life in the Marines helping others. I wear his bracelet everyday along with the dozens of other individuals whose lives were touched by this one person. He honestly inspired so many people and he is greatly missed.

- My mother who battled cancer for a year and a half but fought until the end. She died when I was 12 and no person could have inspired me more at that age. She loved my sister and I; always trying to get us what we wanted or needed to make us happy.

I'm also going to say something about a conversation I had tonight with a friend. He was having a rough time and at one point stated that I have money and that allows me to do things with my life and that I obviously must always be happy. This is important to understand and I urge all of you to take time to think about this, it's what I said to him.

You think I'm always happy? You think my life is perfect? Yea I have money, yes I'm going to college, yes I love the things and people I have been given in life. But my life is far from perfect. I envy you for what you have, you want to know why? You have a lot more than you seem to notice. You have best friends and "brothers" that you have had for a long time, you have a family that loves you and supports you no matter what you do, and you are so smart but you don't even know it. Money is a material object, it can't buy me happiness, it can buy temporary satisfaction. I wish I had the kind of friends you do, the only person I've been friends with for the longest is my best friend and that's only been four years. I have some good friends and then I have the friends who want to stay friends because they benefit from the friendship. I have supportive parents and a great sister but sometimes they don't appreciate the aspects of my life that are important to me. I'm book smart, logic smart, I'm intelligent, I do ace my college courses but guess what? I don't really have a choice because I don't feel like I can fail. You don't see how good you have it. I don't look at those negative parts of my life bro, I really don't, this is the first time I've ever said them out loud. I choose to focus on helping others, to doing good things in my life for the Marines, to having a positive energy around me that boosts everyone up. I want you to see what you have and appreciate it because life is too damn short for you to sit here and tell me that you hate someone or dislike someone. Why waste the energy on someone who isn't worth it? She may have broke your heart, she may have made you angry, and you may have done some horrible things but even when I don't like her, I don't focus on it. Positivity is the only way to live honestly and happily.

Alright moral of the story in case anyone missed it, is don't dwell on the bad things in life. Focus on the goods ones.

1) Don't focus on how long it has been since you saw or talked to your loved one. Focus on when you get to see them or talk to them next.

2) Make games out of deployment, I have so many tips on here from movie nights to calendars. Just read through some of this.

3) Don't let anyone bring you down, you know you are an amazing girlfriend so keep your head held high and hold on tight to this military relationship because no one knows how this lifestyle works better than you do.

Keep your heads up everyone and if you need to talk please email me!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Tips for keeping busy this holiday season...

2011-11-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

I've already start watching Christmas movies and listening to Christmas music. I know, early right? Well here's what I figure, the sooner we get done with this holiday season the closer we get to the end of deployment. I can't wait to go home and see my family, that's the downside of my university being far away from home. But this is the first Christmas in three years that I will not be spending with my best friend because he is deployed. I know that doesn't seem like a lot but usually, during Christmas break I spend my time at his house making cookies and watching Disney movies. I love that. I love the laid back atmosphere at his place.
So I realized right now that I am trying to make it through the holidays without some of the people I care about most. This will be the first Christmas in two years that my ex and I won't be together. We broke up in June and it is so weird realizing that the first Christmas we were supposed to have after boot camp was supposed to be this Christmas. We had so many plans and we were so excited. But life happens and times change. This Christmas is going to be really hard, I already know that.

Here are some tips for getting through the Christmas/holiday season without the one you love:

1) Make a bucket list of activities for you to complete between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It gives you a lot to do in a little time. Make sure that you complete at least 75% of the things on the list. It will not only give you a sense of accomplishment but it will also help for you to be able to keep your mind off the hard times.

2) Spend time with your family or his family. Whichever you want, I'm sure both will keep you busy and both will help to ease the pain of your loved one being gone. Sometimes it sucks but you just have to find other people interconnected to his life to keep you company. At times the stories will help you to feel better and the memories you share will make like that much easier.

3) Make your own countdown calendar for the next time you see him. You can add this to your list of crafts to do for the holidays. Make a calendar for 2012! Then you will have it for all next year and you can show it to him when he comes home.

4) Plan a busy schedule. Plan things to with friends or family every night, work during the day if you need to. Keep yourself busy enough that you don't have time to miss him as much as you would if you were just sitting around.

5) If you are in college, finals will be coming up whether it is a term or semester schedule. It helps to keep you busy. Study your butt off because you get closer every day to seeing your loved one.

I hope everything is going well for you all. If you need something or have questions please email me!

CM©Semperfikindoflove

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

Question of the Day Round 2

2011-11-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

I was reading some Yahoo! Answers and I came across one that I thought I should address on here for those who just have a boyfriend who is heading to basic or boot camp.

Question: What would your boyfriend want to see you in after 3 months at boot camp?

Basically, wear whatever is comfortable. I will tell you from my experiences of being at MCRD San Diego for boot camp graduation that you don't want to doll yourself up. Here's why:

1) On family day and graduation day you will be walking around A LOT. Do not wear high heels, you will regret it. You are expected to move fast and be hasty just as your Marine has been expected to move for the past three months. You will be going from the courtyard to the parking lot to the motto run to the line up to the parade deck. On a side note DO NOT WALK ON THE PARADE DECK. That is sacred for Marines. While at the Depot you will be constantly moving, wear comfortable shoes.

2) Public affection is not allowed while Marines are in their uniforms. Typically the commanding officers turn a blind eye to all of the hugs, how could they not, it's been three months since you've seen your Marine! But kissing, holding hands, etc. are not allowed. Your Marine can "escort" you around the Depot but nothing more than that. So don't wear something that he will want to be all over you in. That's not fair to him.

3) Wear something RESPECTABLE. You are a Marine girlfriend now, you are expected to dress in a respectable fashion for your Marine. Do not be the girl who wears the low cut tank top, and the skimpy skirt. You can tell who will be the Marine wives someday and who will be nothing more than a girlfriend who comes and goes. Believe me, it's not hard to tell.

Alright that's my thing for the night. I am going to bed, I have an 8 am class and currently it's 11:24 pm. I could use some rest this week. Have a great evening and if I don't post before the weekend, have a fantastic weekend ladies (and gents if any are reading this!).

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Question of the Day :)

2011-11-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

So I have to belt this out in a half hour before I have to head to class which is all the way across campus. Here goes:

Question of the Day: My boyfriend is going into the military, what should I expect? Will he change?

You should expect a lot of ups and a lot of downs. That's kind of how this lifestyle works. You need to be prepared for him to be coming home one minute and deploying the next. I can give you an example of that, my best friend was supposed to deploy in July but they deployed them a few months early on TWO WEEKS notice. That's crazy and it was stressful for all of the friends and family involved. He won't always be able to come home on holidays and see you, he won't always have time to call you at night, but a lot of this also depends on his job. If he is infantry his job is usually more dangerous than a non-infantry position. He is trained to be on the battle field while mechanics and other positions are trained in the basics of battlefield fighting, they are trained for a specialized purpose. You have to be willing to be more understanding than you have ever been, you have to be compassionate, loving, and supportive of everything he does. Boot camp or basic whatever you want to call it, is going to test your relationship. You will feel anger, sadness, and possibly feel some bumps in the relationship but remember he is going through the exact same emotions being away from you. Depending on which branch he goes into, boot camp or basic can be longer or shorter. The Marines currently have the longest boot camp (13 weeks). This is where you will have no communication other than letters for three months. The Army allows for weekend passes, computer access, and phones at times. You will have more communication with him throughout basic which is (I believe) 10 weeks. After that training differs for every branch and ever job. I will go through the different training for the branches in another post later on. I apologize for not being as much Air Force and Navy oriented. I dealt with Navy boot camp at while back with a friend but I haven't had as many connections to those branches as I do with Army and Marines. Anyway, he will change. My ex got out of boot camp and he felt more anger than anything else. It was very hard on me. He didn't trust and he was told throughout boot camp that his girlfriend would cheat on him, that kind of stuff pretty much breeds mistrust and hate. He will be tougher, stronger, braver, and have a harder personality than he did before. Once he goes through deployments that will only increase. But it's not impossible and you will be one of the few and strongest women that this country has behind their military men. It's something to be very proud of.

Alright, email me with questions if you want one answered on here. Keep your heads up and have a fantastic Wednesday! Almost the weekend! :)

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Military pump up songs...

2011-11-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, here are a few "pump up songs" or "military oriented" songs. A lot of them are Marine Corps, I apologize now for that but being around the Marines brings more of the specific songs in. If you click on the name of the song, a YouTube video will hopefully pop up! :)

The Warrior Song - Hard Corps
- Definitely a pump up song for Marines and their girlfriends. One of those chill inspiring songs.

Semper Fi - Trace Adkins
- Amazing for Marines again. It's definitely what the lifestyle is about from boot camp to deployment.

Made in America - Toby Keith
- Mentions the Marines again, definitely a pure American song.

American Soldier - Toby Keith
- A song for all of our brave soldiers out there. Sometimes played at Basic graduation.

One Thing Beautiful - Rocket Club
- A song for the significant others of Marines. It's cute.

Marine to the Core - Aces Up
- No YouTube video for this one, but it's an inspiring Marine Corps song.

God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood
- One of the classics yet still touches your heart!

Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue - Toby Keith
- Another great one sang by this amazing artist!

On my Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado
- One of my favorites because I know the artist, he is absolutely amazing and Marine. He has written many songs for our troops.

Stand - Mike Corrado
- Another inspiring song for all of our troops and their families!

Still in the Fight - Mike Corrado
- For our veterans and all of the things our troops have done for us over the years!

Alright there are tons of songs out there but these are some of my favorites. Keep your heads up and sometime shoot me an email to let me know how you all are doing. Have a fantastic day!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Friend Issues

2011-10-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

So I was answering questions online today when I came across one that was asking how to deal with friends who don't understand what you are going through. Friends who say mean things, who make comments about your loved one never coming back to you, those kinds of horrible comments.

My first gut instinct is to ask what kind of people you hang around because they really don't sound like friends to me. But here's what I will say about those kinds of people. Military relationships are one of kind, they are unique and those who haven't had to deal with them will never understand the pain and stress you are under. I'll tell you a story about my experiences with a friend.

One day my friend and I were driving in the car (for story sake and namesake we will call her Sarah). Sarah and I had been friends for a long time, since my freshman year of high school and we were seniors when this occurred. We were listening to a song about the military. I teared up a little bit thinking about my best friend deploying and my boyfriend at the time being shipped around the world. She looked at me and said, "Why the hell are you crying about this stupid song? You chose to date someone in the military and surround yourself with people who could get themselves blown up. Grow up. It's not that difficult to be in a relationship with someone in the military." I was furious at this point and stopped the car, "So you're saying that I can't feel hurt because I'm scared. You're TELLING ME how this life is, you haven't even dated someone in the military. You turn your nose down at them because you think they made a poor choice in life and you think they deserve to die because they chose this. They fight for other people's lives, for other people's children, and if you were in that position you would understand the job they do."
Needless to say the car ride was silent until I dropped her off. We didn't speak again after that. I chose to end that friendship because she was extremely self-absorbed.

My reaction could have been more calm and more thought out but I let my anger get to me. I was angry and hurt. But here's what you have to understand about people who say those kinds of things:

1) They have never had to face the idea of losing the person they love more than anything. They haven't had to wonder for weeks if their best friend was hurt, killed, or in danger.
2) They have never had to go for more than a day without talking or seeing their loved one, so they immediately assume it's not that hard or that bad.
3) I get frustrated with those individuals who sit there and complain about not seeing their boyfriend for a month or not talking to them for one day, but you have to understand that they are not able to comprehend the thoughts and things that go through our heads.
4) We are a unique group of women who are stronger than most, we can handle this lifestyle. Remember that a lot of women couldn't handle what we go through.

Ways to deal with these kinds of situations:

1) Calmly explain that they do not know what they are talking about.
2) Ignore the situation and get off of the topic to prevent further frustration.
3) Don't hang out with individuals who make you feel less than you are.
4) Vent to someone else about it who understands your situation

Happy Halloween everyone! Email me if you need something!

Semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

So my best friend and I love the "Lion King". It's definitely our movie. We watch it every time we are together, eating, cooking, cleaning, whatever, it is on. Well I realized last night that I was going to be carving my pumpkin and I had no idea what I wanted on it. So I thought really hard: did I want it to be a Disney character or did I want something regular (cats, triangle eyes)? I thought about how my best friend said to have fun, to live life, and be crazy. For not carving a pumpkin in 7 years, never having done something this complex, and starting out a five hour adventure, I guess you could say it turned out alright!

So I know a lot of you have been with me from the beginning and have kept tabs on my life throughout the past two years to three years? Wow, has it really been that long? Anyway, you've seen me go through rough times and good times. Always giving different bits of advice and updates on my book (which is still a work in progress). I think the first hardship you saw me go through was when I was with my best friend and we were going through our ups and downs. We were on and off for a while between the four years we have known each other. Well, after my ex and I broke up in May/June I had to think long and hard about what I wanted to do. I'm in college, I had summer flings, I spent time with other guys, did I want to try to make something happen with my best friend? I guess the answer has always come back to this. Always. We've always had that connection that we have now. We've never explored it more than friends, that's the truth. I think we've kissed twice in the time that we have known each other. Well I changed my relationship status because I felt that it was easier to not have people harass me about going out on dates and such. Now everyone thinks we are in a relationship, which I guess I can see why but that's definitely not how things have worked out so far.

My advice for the day or my challenge to you for the day is to go do something creative and fun. Don't let life get you down even if you are going through a deployment. Enjoy the time you have and make sure that you use it to the fullest! Keep your heads up and if you need something, email me!

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

College, MEU, and Life Update! :)

2011-10-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. Talk about being busy. I started college classes last week and I haven't stopped moving. Currently, I have no homework to do and I have another hour until my next class. I figured I could update everyone.

I am so excited because time is counting down until my best friend and the rest of my guy friends get home from their MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit). I'm so excited, I think I'm going to the homecoming but it really depends on when it is and what my classes look like. I can't wait to see all those awesome men and their wonderful wives/girlfriends. I can't wait to hear about all of their adventures, travels, and the crazy things that they did. Of course, all the damage they caused too!

My birthday is next week and I'm so excited. As much as it sucks that I'll be spending it alone, I'm going to enjoy it. I'm looking forward to all the birthdays to come, those hopefully will be more fun and adventurous. I love college, seriously, I don't live on campus but I do spend a lot of time here. I can belt out three page papers in 15 minutes (assuming I'm not distracted by social networking, you all know what I mean!). I have two more classes today so I won't be off campus until sometime after 6 pm. But that's not too bad, I just can't wait to go home and sleep. I have to be up at 5 tomorrow morning (usually my Mon, Wed, and Fri). First exam tomorrow too. It's going to be fun haha.

Ok so I don't want to have to go over this AGAIN but I recently had a run in with some individuals on their social networking page, posting statuses, and updates about when their military man was returning home or when they were leaving for a foreign country. This is highly sensitive material. OPSEC needs to be followed at all times, all places, and especially on the web. The one thing I really wished people realized was that if they are going to be my friend on a social network site, I'm going to call them out on a major mistake like that. You may get lucky and not get anyone hurt or killed but there is a chance you will. You put a lot of people's lives at risk by doing that.

- OPSEC means OPERATION SECURITY
- Goal of OPSEC is to KEEP OUR MILITARY PERSONNEL SAFE
- What not to post:
------ DATES: whether returning or deploying you risk all of their lives
------ COUNTDOWNS: you don't know who is watching
------ IDENTIFICATION: do not say the battalion, platoon, or name anything that could put their safety in jeopardy
------ LOCATION: do not say where they are stationed, where they are arriving from, or leaving from
- What to do if someone asks you too many questions about your military loved one
------ Your family readiness group should have prepared that, use the information they give you to notify the proper people

I have to get going here soon. Everyone have a wonderful day. Email me with questions or comments!

- semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Cheating and Lying: My policy

2011-09-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

       Today I had a long conversation with a Marine friend of mine. He got out of the USMC within the last year and we just decided to chat about our experiences with the military and realized that a lot of them are negative. He and I met recently and he was asking me what I do with military girlfriends and wives and why I got involved with what I do.
       To be honest, I have no idea why I got into this. I remember starting to date my best friend and thinking about how I wanted to get to know the other people in his life so that I could help him to be successful and I could help his buddies too. Another reason is because I have seen a lot of negative aspects of the military and my hope is that I can help to change the negative viewpoints of the military lifestyle and ensure that other military men get the love and support they need.
My buddy told me about all of the negative experiences with cheating he had dealt with in the military. We talked about it. I told him my experiences. The one thing I got caught up with while my ex was in boot camp was crashing at my best friend's house. That was a mistake that led to my ex believing bad things about me. I didn't deny it because he asked me every day if I did something and I got tired of defending myself. If I could tell him now the truth about all that I would, but my reputation is already ruined because of it. I still love my ex and I would take him back in a heartbeat, I just don't know how to get him back.
         The one thing I want to share with you all, is that I can forgive for cheating (yes, a lot of people will argue with me on that but I will give my reasons) but if you lie to me multiple times I won't stay with you.
1) Cheating is a horrible thing, but I don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater. I feel that that is the easy way out. Especially if you love someone.
2) It has been studied that just because someone cheats doesn't mean they don't love you. There are other reasons that cheating happens.
3) Given the right situation, those issues can be resolved but both people have to be forgiving and willing to try.
          Lying is another story, I've been lied to so much. If you come out clean about cheating then I can work towards forgiveness but if you constantly lie to me about it, it won't happen. If I see you lying to other people and find out that you are doing it to me too, I'll start seeing a pattern. Compulsive lying is the worst kind.
          Anyway, that's my vent for the day and my policy on cheating and lying. I think it takes a forgiving person to deserve a forgiving person.

Signing off :)
Semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Hello world :)

2011-09-18T23:58:00.002-07:00

Alright so I have some crazy stories for all of you and I think you'll probably all laugh at my stupidity.

So guess what conclusion I came to, that should have been in front of me all along? Trusting your gut instinct is the smart thing to do. So getting into a relationship with this guy after my ex was a horrible idea. I should have listened to my gut telling me:
a) It's too soon
b) You still love your ex
c) You're going to be unhappy
d) He seems like he's lying to everyone else, hmm...I wonder if he's lying to you
e) Oh, he's also always asking if he is better than your ex with everything

We broke up because he was lying constantly and because I realized that being with someone when you love someone else only ends up hurting the other person. He tried to be the one in charge yesterday by saying he was "ending things because he didn't want the stress and he didn't want to get back with me". Who said I wanted to get back together? I said eh, maybe there would be a chance at some point but that doesn't mean there would be. On top of that, the other big issue is the fact that I ended the relationship WEEKS AGO.

Oh sigh, so my life is full of crap right now and I'm laughing at it from the inside out. While my ex and I are somewhat still distant, I realize that love takes it's time. Even though we both had a rough time with the relationship, it was pretty good before the Marines. So I've come to the conclusion that I still love that man no matter who he is and I want to stand by him through all of this. He means the world to me and if I can't get him back, I can't. But at least I can say I tried. Wish me luck ladies!

Email me sometime and let me know how you're doing! :)

semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

New house, new adventures!

2011-09-07T18:50:00.002-07:00

Wow, so I'm finally moved into my new house. I'm just waiting for classes to start so I feel like I'm actually doing something important! Ah only another few weeks and things will start being normal again.

So you know what I have figured out about social networking sites? They remind you of all of the good times you have had with the people that you have loved. The worst part: I started missing my ex. There was a "This day in 2010 status" on my sidebar. Here's what it said:

"Apparently, according to my boyfriend, a gnome forgot to put my wallet in my bag at taco bell last night...good job boyfriend!"

I laughed so hard I started crying. Long story short, last year before my ex went to boot camp we went out to dinner after bowling (it was around 10 pm) and I had bought us dinner. I walked by the table and handed him my wallet and asked him to put it in my bag...did he? Nope, he left it on the seat next to him and we forgot it when we walked out, only to get it the next day when I realized it was missing. We both laughed about it. It reminded me of all the good times we had among the bad times.

But I really hope that he will accept my apologies for different things and we can move past that to being great friends again. I'm trying to protect him from some things that he wasn't told by his friends a few weeks ago. That's another long story for another time. I really disagree with some of the choices his friends made. I miss him and I've sent him letters, my hope is that we can talk when he gets back from training so we can make things right.

Sometimes a little hope and faith will bring you together. So my advice today is have fun, enjoy life, and take risks you wouldn't normally take. Our guys from last deployment are currently on deployment again traveling around the world. I hope they are well, I'm hoping they aren't going stir crazy on the ship. We will see! Hopefully time passes faster.

Email me if you need something!

Semperfikindoflove@yahoo.com

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Sorry!

2011-08-30T23:23:00.003-07:00

So I realize again, that I haven't written in a little while. It'll get better because I've finally moved into my new house and I'm settling in. I have quite a few updates for all of you. Once again, my life is chaotic.

The man I have been dating turned out to be someone I really don't know. It hurts because I feel like most the things he told me were lies. It happens. I just want to get my life back together. I want to be friends with my ex, be friends with all of the people I had given up, everything. So I guess I don't know what advice to give today.

Make sure you know who you are dating, if others make comments about you not really knowing the person, you should take their advice. Take it and get to know the person better. I'm really tired right now so this will be short. Keep your heads up and email me if you need something. I'm trying to get into the habit of checking my email more frequently but it still gets sent to my phone so get a hold of me if you need something.

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Thought for the day :)

2011-07-15T17:12:00.002-07:00

Alright so there has been a lot going on lately. I have been dealing with a lot of stuff and a lot of girlfriends lately who are completely lost with things. So I have some advice for all of you lovely ladies who are struggling with their relationships right now.

Take a break to find yourself. Since my ex and I broke up, I have taken a lot of time to figure out who I am and what I want in a boyfriend and in a relationship. Make sure you are getting your needs taken care of too. Don't always be selfless and take care of everyone else because it really makes your life miserable. When you have a problem talk about it because that's the best thing you can do. Don't let it build up and hurt you.

Another thought for you, be happy and make yourself happy before you make anyone else happy. I adore you all a ton and I am hoping that you all can find the perfect man and the perfect happiness. If you ladies need anything please email me. Right now I am out of time because I am with a friend right now and we have some adventures to embark on. I hope all is well with you guys! All my love!

Truth :)

2011-06-28T13:34:00.002-07:00

I did a lot of thinking and I think this is a topic that needs to be covered. Temptation...oh boy. So I have stories for you and admissions of faults. I have made mistakes before. I've given into temptation and it's something I NEVER want to do again. I can't imagine hurting anyone like I've hurt one person in my life before.

So don't, even when you are angry or hurting. Do not act out. Don't go party, don't drink, don't get into anything bad, just sit down and figure out why you are angry or why you are hurting. It hurts being cheated on and believe me, it hurts to tell someone you've cheated. Do not put yourself in that position. However, if you do cheat, honestly, the best thing to do is tell them. Loving someone means being honest and admitting your faults even if you know there is a risk that you could lose them. Now, by no means am I saying you have to tell them but it is the right thing to do. You made the mistake and if you lose them because of it, then you have to accept that. Another thing you need to think about with this is that sometimes you can move past it and maybe that will make your relationship stronger.

DO NOT TAKE FORGIVENESS AS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. It isn't. I would never hurt someone the way I have before again. It's not worth seeing the pain and look in their eye. I recommend that you think about the consequences of your actions before you go through with them. It might stop you dead in your tracks. I just wanted to say that sometimes honesty may hurt but it always is the best policy because whether you want to face the facts or not, it always comes out at some point.

On a side note, I thought I would give everyone an update on how things are. I am happy being single and being able to go out with friends whenever and not watch my phone all the time. I do miss having the relationship aspect but I know things are better this way right now. His new girlfriend and him broke up, I'm sorry to say that. I was hoping he would be happier with her than he was with me. I don't intend on talking to him or even working things out so if anyone was wondering that would be a negative. I'll post a few songs here today that really made it easy for me to get over this break up. It made me realize I wasn't happy. Maybe it will help anyone else having a hard time whether it is a break up or not. Good luck ladies and have a great day!

Semper Fi :)

A Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans

Tomorrow - Chris Young

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Say Hello to Goodbye - Shontelle

Starting out fresh...

2011-06-26T13:35:00.002-07:00

So as you all know I am single and I'm actually pretty happy right now. I hope that you all continue to read my blog even though I am no longer dating a Marine or military man. I hope I can still give you insight into this lifestyle.

Here's my thought for the day. Don't let anyone change you. I know it's easy to say that you won't let anyone do that to you but it can happen. I realize that I was becoming a harsh and horrible person with my ex. While it may not have seemed like it to everyone else or even to all of you, I didn't like the angry person I was becoming. I started hating things I enjoyed, I waited by the phone for a text or a call and if I never got one, I became irritated and upset with him. I guess that was my fault but he started to not want to spend time with me and that was hurting me a lot. I realize I am a lot happier being me now.

Don't settle for anything less than you deserve, if you need someone who will text you in the morning to let you know they are thinking of you, then make sure you get it. Also have open communication with your military man. I think what happened with my ex was that we spent so much time together in the beginning and we were so happy with all that time that once that time was cut down we both suffered. He felt like he didn't have enough time with everyone else and I didn't feel like I had enough time with him when he was home. That can complicate things.

Go for what you want, sometimes I was so wrapped up in doing everything for him that I would spend hundreds of dollars and tons of hours making him happy and never did anything for myself. I learned to rely solely on him and not on myself. Do not give up your independence to make things work with someone. It's never a good idea.

Anyway, that's my advice for the day. I need to get ready for work stuff. So adios.

Signing off.

Semper Fi

CM©Semperfikindoflove

Getting into the swing of things...

2011-06-23T06:10:00.002-07:00

So last night I was texting my ex about things. He was being harsh and rude as usual. I realized one thing that made me figure out that this would be easier to let go. The Marines changed him. I was watching videos on my profile of him before boot camp being cute and saying he loved me. That was him then, this man he is now could be considered almost robotic. He seems to have no emotion whatsoever and he can hurt me as much as he pleases.

I don't feel so bad now, this is not the man I fell in love with. The man I fell in love with would have never treated me in such a way and that's okay. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me right? I could say wrong there, because I still miss him, but what I realized is that he was on the verge of being extremely verbally out of control. When your fights get to yelling and screaming matches in parking lots with extremely foul language, you know something is wrong. So if anyone has a relationship like this, please do yourself a favor and point out what he is doing wrong and ask him why he is treating you that way.

You all deserve the best, as hard as it is right now, I'm trying to find time to write. Whether it's before work or after, I'm trying to make sure that everyone has some support. Thank you to all the people who have emailed me with questions and well wishes, you have been wonderful. I hope that things are going well for all of you. Stay strong!

Semper Fi

CM©Semperfikindoflove